You ever listen to Akon’s “Lonely”, resonating with the chorus and wishing you had a bro around to down some brews with? Probably not; but chances are you’re like other men who find it difficult to make guy friends as an adult. You’re bronely— and that’s okay, because you’re not alone.
Think back to when you were a child. The formation of a friendship was built on nothing more than like-minded interests. Bobby has a scooter? You want to be friends with Bobby. Joey’s dad takes him and his friends to baseball games every weekend? You make it your mission to get into Joey’s crew. It was all so simple back then and, yet, as adults, men struggle with channeling their inner child and just going for it.
“It’s tough (to make friends) because there’s no set place to go,” explained Stephen from New Orleans. “I go to the gym and I’ll make friends with those guys because we share a common interest.”
Miles from Denver takes a similar approach. “When I lived in Dallas, I only met people through work or through friends of mine from high school,” Miles shared. “But moving to the downtown area of a busier city, I’ve made friends with everyone in my building, and met a lot of people around town who share my interests like exercising, climbing, camping and skiing.”
Among the guys surveyed, common interests was the #1 key to a long-lasting bond. If you’re looking to make guy friends, figure out what your interests are and pursue activities or social events that would enable you to meet like-minded buds.
“What I look for in a friend is someone who I vibe with personally that has similar interests as me,” Carson from Orlando told us. “I made one of my best friends by inviting him to a local sporting event.”
So if men seem to stand united on what they look for in a friend, why is it so hard to make new ones?
“I would say it’s due to already-established social circles,” Carson revealed. “I feel like guys are typically more independent (than women), but people, in general, need others to feel connected to something.”
Surely, personality traits play into friend-making as a whole. Stephen, who considers himself to be a social butterfly, believes that those who are introverted may have a harder time building bonds. “If you’re somebody that (is more introverted) and it doesn’t come naturally to, I’m not sure how you’d go about making friends. I’m very open-minded and always looking for new experiences, so I’ll talk to anybody.”
With personality types weighing into your ability to make friends, can confidence levels also affect your friendship-forming skills? According to thedistilledman.com, the answer is yes. “Some of the common themes that emerge are general social anxiety or a lack of confidence having conversations with other men.”
There you have it— Bronlieness isn’t just a trendy term coined by millennials; it’s a real emotion experienced by men well into adulthood. Luckily, you don’t have to remain bronely for long. Do some self-discovery and pinpoint hobbies or activities that interest you most. Once you’ve done that, scope out the local events calendar and see how you can turn those interests into friendships— or better yet, do so digitally from the comfort of your bedroom by downloading Friendish and swiping on interests to find your next best bro!