Homie, Lover or Friend?

There are varying levels to friendship. The status of a new person in your life can range from “I just met this cool dude at the game” to “will you marry me?”. While navigating the path of friendship, the lines can sometimes get blurred. It’s not totally necessary to categorize and put people in boxes, but it can be helpful to identify where and how someone fits into your life to maintain emotional balance and healthy relationships. Friends are special. Homies are even more special. And lovers, well they run the gamut. Here’s our breakdown of each.


Remember back in elementary school when making a new friend was as easy as showing up to class? Being around the same age, sharing interests and space everyday made friend making as simple as A, B, C. When we grow up though, all that changes. Life sometimes gets in the way of building new friendships and many adults find it really hard to make new friends. The person you have the most in common with that you could laugh for hours with, quite possibly lives across town or in another state. If you are lucky enough to meet new, like-minded people, there is this grey area before you actually assign someone the title of friend. In our book, friends are people that can be relatively new to your life or have been around for a while. These are people you text semi-frequently and see every now and then. You may invite them out to dinner on occasion and probably like a lot of their social posts, but it may be hard to divulge super personal info to them depending on how long you’ve known them or the state of your friendship. Friends can be like shoes, you have different ones for different occasions but put them all in the same clos-, er, category.


These people are your crew. These are the people you think of first and foremost anytime you’re planning an event or hang…the “it’s a celebration every time we link up,” people. Homies are usually folks you’ve known for some time that have proven themselves true through it all. They’re the ones you lean on for support, that will side eye an ex before you do. They keep it real with you when others won’t. This group will probably be at your wedding with extra bottles of champagne and at the birth of your babies with handmade onesies. As we get older, crews tends to disperse. People grow up, move away, get married and start their own lives. But an eternal homie bond will always connect you to some of the truest friends you’ll have in a lifetime.


Lovers come in all different forms; one night stands, long standing, committed relationships and yes…the modern day situationship. Aside from sharing close physical space, a lover is someone who nourishes and feeds your body and hopefully soul. Things can get complicated with lovers who are also friends or homies especially if there are multiple people involved. Watch nearly any sitcom or romcom known to (wo)man for examples. If you start a relationship with someone as a lover, can they become just a friend? What happens when friends become lovers? For some people, getting physical with someone can change the nature of the relationship so if you’re the type to “be in your feelings,” proceed with caution with the lovers in your life.