Are Friend Crushes a Thing?

“IT’S TOTALLY A THING!” exclaims my friend, Tara* when I ask her if she thinks Friend Crushes are a thing. Citing one male pal in particular, she goes on, “I’m attracted to his personality because he’s a amazing person. He’s partnered and that’s completely fine because I’m not attracted to him sexually, just want to be his friend!”

I have to agree, he’s one cool dude.

I think we can all understand sometimes a magnetic personality just wins us over and we discover a unique person to connect with on a friend-level. Looking forward to hanging out again and finding common interests to enjoy together are key elements to a Friend Crush.

I’ve had experiences when upon meeting a friend for the first time we just instantly clicked and fell into a rhythm of banter and laughter, punctuated by bursts of “me tooooo!!!”. It is a special occurrence that led me to hoping our next encounter would lead to full blown friendship rather than awkward silence. This is exactly the experience I thought of when pondering Friend Crushes and, because I’ve lived one (which by the way did become a long term, rewarding friendship, Hi, Rachy!), I have to say Friend Crushes are most definitely a thing.

But popular culture has plenty of fuel to dispel this phenom, most notably the iconic rom-com When Harry Met Sally, arguing that men and women can’t just be friends. We found voices from that camp, too.

“There’s no such thing. A “friend crush,” really?” another friend, Kevin* declares. “There’s always something else going on. If I have a crush, it’s going to lead to a date, maybe a relationship. Certainly more than just friends.”

I’m going to put it to you Friendish readers, who knows? Perhaps your next friend crush will turn into something romantic, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t start out as a crush in the platonic sense, right? Or do you guys think crushes are reserved for all things romantic?

Sound off in the comments (and tag a friend you were crushin’ if you’ve got one!).

*Names have been changed to allow interviewees to speak freely

As a professional writer and digital publisher I enjoy pushing to achieve high standards that I set for myself– and like every writer the “good pressure” of a killer deadline. Planning, creating, managing, and amplifying written and visual content; nurturing and motivating young writers; and building brands are a few of my strongest passions.

I have gravitated toward fast-paced and innovative startups, but (insatiably) consume content from both traditional and digital media publishers.